I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
