In the future we'll all be gay
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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