I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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