R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
