Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
