Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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