so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize