This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
