If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
