so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
