are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
