her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
