Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
