Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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