how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
