i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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