I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
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