Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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