I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
