just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
