Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Holy shit dude........stairs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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