Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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