im six kinds of drunk right now
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
