im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she smelled like a LAN party
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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