he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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