we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize