I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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