brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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