Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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