Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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