we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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