i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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