No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so let's talk penis.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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