there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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