i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think your dad took our porno
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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