That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
