It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
