Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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