if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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