come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
