Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
