I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize