were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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