I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
