Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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