What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
