I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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