Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
