I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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