Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
