I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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