does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
