suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
