if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
