I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
