do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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