mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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