I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
