dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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