did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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