Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
