i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
