my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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