Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize