You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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