i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
