Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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