I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
