arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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